I have a friend(male friend), who's girlfriend really wants a child. Apparently they have gone to many Dr's to see if there is anything that would prevent them from falling pregnant. They have both gotton the all clear - nothing wrong with either of them.

They have now been trying for over a year...with no results.

Just recently I found out that(he says) they arent have sex. NOW IN MY MIND that would be the ONLY reason why they havent concieved yet.

 

The other thing is that if she really was interested in having children wouldnt she want to be near or with children as much as possible...or at least LIKE children. But she avoids them like the plague.

 

What do you think? Does she really want children and is just depressed about the situation? or do you think its just a way to trap my friend into a long term relationship - because things havent been going well for a while - she knows if she has his child he will never leave her?

 

AND if this is the case for the latter....what do I say to my friend, or do I say anything at all?

that is so tricky!!... I know for myself when I struggled to have children i avoided them like the plague. I was desperate to have them but I couldnt face people who did have them-but i had had 3 miscarriages so...
Do you know how long they have been trying?
It can take over a year for some women to fall pregnant, my sister in law it took approx 18months because she wasnt ovulating properly..
Has the dr checked his sperm? Has he checked her ovulating and estrogen levels etc?

How long have they been together? Maybe your right, some women can bribe men into relationships through children, usually they will have some self image issues...

Yip his been to the dr...apparently nothing wrong at all.

 

I also didnt mention that she;s bi-polar!

 

He says that they never have sex. lol Id say thats the problem! But she says his being childish.

 

They've been together for 4 or so years...and they have been trying for about a year and a half to two years now.

I doubt they never had sex!lol
But if they hadnt then yes that would explain why no pregnancy!
4 years is a long time with no sex
I dont know alot about bipolar.. isnt it multiple personalities?
Do you think she needs encouragement?

Bi-polar is a metal disorder.  Not like multiple personalities...they have very high highs and very low lows...get very depressed.

Not like having two personalities.

 

Apparently there sex life was good until a year ago. When they started getting all the tests done to see why they werent producing. I think she is waiting for invitro cause she thinks its going to be easier.  But he says because there isnt anything physically wrong with them both, they wont qualify for invitro.

 

I think she doesnt really want a child. But says she does, so that she can keep him locked into the relationship, knowing that he feels his age is against him...to start a new relationship and have children with someone else.  I know him well enough to know that he isnt lying to me, and I know it takes him a long time to built relationships with people. So if this doesnt work for him, I know his not going to try agian.

 

I think your friend needs to assess if that is what he really wants and if not then he needs to be proactive and get out and meet the right person.

*hopes that didnt sound mean*

No that didnt sound mean. Thats exactly what I think! :) I think they need to take a break from each other and then decide what they really want.